January 1, 2012
“It’s New Years eve and I find that after everything I have been through I have decided to narrow down a new years resolution down to s single wish. Perviously, I imagined last New Years that my senior year would be the year where I would get almost everything that I have ever wanted. And it didn’t happen like that at all. 2011 was full of heartbreak and obstacles, but I come to 2012 believing that everything that happened this year happened for a reason. I was supposed to lose everything. I was supposed to get more back bone. I was supposed to grow up and I did. All I can hope is that this year will be better…that it won’t hurt anymore. That I’ll start getting stuff back. Isn’t that how it is anyways? The universe balances itself out. I have faith—and that in itself, I believe, is a miracle. So anyways, back to my wish. I wish for real friends…doesn’t necessarily need to happen right away. I wish for love that consumes me and I wish to know what it’s like to be myself and truly feel happy. I have a feeling that I won’t get all of these things at once, but I think there’s something or someone waiting right around the corner who is going to change my life forever and frankly, I can’t wait to meet him. ❤ ”
I wrote this in 2012. It is now August 2016. I am engaged and I have amazing supportive friends and even a family who has really stepped up to make me feel included. Admittedly, I have been through my struggles these last few years, but I got what I wised for. I got a love that consumed me and a best friend at the same time. We’re getting married June 2018. For so long I thought I would be alone, but now I have so much in my life. I feel blessed. I have amazing nephews and I have a great group of friends.